Statement from the Golowan Decorum Committee Chairman Lord Saint John Yves 29th Feb 2008

"Following the disgraceful display by the so called "Town Crier" and the Pratt in the Hat at last years Mock Mayoral election I would like to announce that is my intention to attend in person this years hustings despite the infirmity that curses my every waking hour. I call forth all potential candidates living or otherwise to attend this ancient ceremony of Mayorality and face the increasingly ugly crowds that throng to this event to prove themselves worthy of the title Mayor of the Quay. Unlike election to the House of Commons there are no restrictions in entering this contest, for example peers and lunatics are both welcome. Knowledge of local goverment is a must as is the ability to quaff ale with town council at the First and Last after council meetings as per the ancient charter. As a final point I must state that former & current holders of that pompous and illegal office "Town Mayor of Penzance" are barred from "attempting to unify the title" and will by ancient tradition dunked in the harbour by the baying mob should they attempt to do so. Let the sport begin"

Candidates for Mock Mayor of the Quay should email their declaration of candidacy to mazedanconfused@aol.com